Inner fears

Went home yesterday and he came only around 10 plus closed to 11pm.

Asked my sister to buy food for me as i am hungry and they don't allowed me to eat Maggie mee.
=(

=) as my sister went to buy with her BF.

My mum draw the money for me already and my dad passed me the $ liao.
Thanks.

Without this i wonder how i am going to pay the plaster guy as i spend all my savings already.
Official BROKE!

The other guy is doing the electricity now.

By next week, he claimed can finished and they worst is that he do so ORBIA design for the wire that he have to asked him to remove and redo!
We pay so much, so please do a better job, else i will asked you to redo the whole house.
I cant when i am paying then the person anyhow do even thou he is someone i know or what.

It is so-called service to me so, do it nicely, unless u don't want me to pay, ANYHOW DO!

Son was very bad and i locked him out of the house last night at my mum place.

He was plying DS, then dinner time, tell him to stop, eat dinner first. He whined and cried and sulk which i cant stand it as i don think that is the right way.
I tried talking to him and say u wanna play after dinner lo. He refused.
I got no choice flare lo.
Then my sister brought him back.
I made him seat beside me and finished the whole bowl of rice himself.

My mum wanted to feed him, i SAY NO!

He finished it in less then 10 minutes when in AMK, he can take 1 hour to finished a bowl of rice.

he is someone who need to be fierce with DE.

I am getting impatience with him already as he is so much different from young hais
=(

I saw his video in my sister computer and i nearly teared as i saw the video when he was 2 years old and started calling me "Mummy" and his birthday celebration.

It is so fast that my son is now turning 5 in Dec 09.

Time flies, still remember 5 years ago around this period of time i realised that i am pregnant, insist to keep the BB although there are objection.

I have not regret a single bit in giving birth to Isaac, maybe i failed as a mum in terms of lecture.
I wanted him to have the best, but i am too soft and everything he said i give in that why he is like that today.




























I need to do something seriously.

House rules:
1. no cartoon on weekday.
2. Only cartoon on Weekend provided he finsihed his work.
3. eating only at dining table, no moving around.
4. Brush teeth before sleep, which he do not do, as he brushes his teeth during bathe time.
5. No whinning and crying if nothing is given when asked.
6. Games can be played on max 2 hours on weekend after his tution.

i hve to start on this 6 rules once i moved.

IM DETERMINED!

I saw mum video too and she is so hilralous and i kept laughing till i nearly tear too.

i kept my cool last night and i did not talked back when she nag, but i REALLY CANT stand people who nag la.
Sigh.
How to make her stop?

She called me this morning, talked to me and said she will come up after the house is done or i moved in, i said FINE. Why not.
I love crowded house, but witht he people i know only KK. not stranger la.
I take time to warm up la.
I am nice to people who are nice to me, but not bad/ wicked/ horrible people.

HE brought me breakfast this morning as per requested by me last night.

The worker in the office is fast, my house cabinet & cupboards are all done already, waiting for fitting and then painting liao.

Then Voila.....

Waiting for my mum to see the date for moving in.
Hope it is earlier not later then the one i wanted.

No budhhda table for the time being as the place is not suitable and i dont really pray, so i told him outside the house have 1 can liao.
He accepted.

Now the MAIN worries i have is actually, the MAID and son and BB.

I am going o enrol him into the PAP under my block in AMK.
He shall start in Sep 09, as i asked around and all gave me the same thinking,
this way is to enable him to get used to the PAP unlike his childcare curently.

He can get into K2 life in 2010 easier, i tihnk that is a good idea also.

It is $85 per month with computer classes included lo.
Aircon de.
The best thing is that it is just below my house.
The timing for the class will be from

8.30 to 12.30
OR
1.00 to 5.00
OR
12.30 to 4.30

So i duno when i enrol him, the time for his will be which one.

Meanwhile, i need advice,
If i leave the maid alone at hme with Isaac, will there be problems?
Will she torture him?
All maid or partial?

Then can a maid handle 2 kids at one time?
- She only get to handle 2 kids from morning 8am to only 12.00, from 12.30 to 4.30 she will only look after BB, can she cope?
Will she be bad?

How do i know if she is bad and nasty?

I wanted to bring her to his grandma house daily, but if he is not free i cant make the maid take bus, travel with a BB and son to her place like 4 stops away right?

Then son go there cant nap, study nor what. then i thought like that why still go there.
I shall leave the maid alone at home with the 2 kids, but priority will be the kids then housewk lo.

I cant make her work like a robot also mah, must finished housewk & look after kids at the same time.

Plus no one at home to look after her, waited she throw temper at my kids i duno how?

Hopefully, my mum can come over and look after her once in a while la.

Then i can rest my mind at ease when i worked.
wanna work also sian.
Kids are my everything, i cant dont work now, situation is different from last time, so i cant afford not TO DONT WORK!

I got alot of things to pay and we have already said, we will share the joy and suffering together till the days get better.

This is what married couple should do, if i keep thinking about the abd, then why i get married in the first place, thus i always tell my mum that, dotn keep thinking about the person bad points, think about the good one and the bad one just keep it as memories.

i think i grown alot since i have ISaac, my mentailty mindset expand and i dont think for just now only, i think far ahead maybe 4 years later down the road de.

Paranoid or Kiasu, u may called me, but it works.
If your man need help in seeking his way all the times.

I am going to agency and start looking for maid and see their profile already.
Want them to come and get used to Isaac as he is a handful to take care, i only scared as he dont listen and is sturrborn. Waited the maid angry hit him or what cham.

I might be selfish to transfer him to the school in AMK, as i think that travel is far, but it is for his own good too!

I can said 90% is for his good!

he can learn more in PAP.
he can have his dinner earlier
he can bathe and rest earlier
he dont need to wake up so early and sleepy in noon
he can concentrate more
he can have his free own lesiure time at home, doing his things
not to worried that he turn astray outside

Last point i said is because i wanted to put him into After School Care but i hve changed my mind about it as the kids there are really notti and no manners.

I dont said that Isaac have tonnes of manners la. I know it's better that all.

I am going to be strict with him, from today onwards no matter what.

His mum self declare that she dont want to look after kids and want to work, i cant FORCED her mah, maybe she want to work as he is scare that his HUS might lose his job then got someone to support her lo.

She used to look after kids, but is kena forced as the brother dont want the 2 kids when they are borned and throw to his mother since born till 5 years old, old enought then they bring back.
Thus his mum started working.
Now she dont wan to look after im OK also.
Better still as wont mixed my son with his brother kids, which i HATE!

Please make my faith be strong in whatever i do right now.
I sincerly pray!

I wished the best for son and the newborn, life is peaceful and happy.

I wished my mum can come over and help me look after once in a while after i got my maid to just watched her etc.

I blog way too long already, i am nagging.
Need to release everything inside me as i have too much stuff inside me and i cant talked to people face to face de so i blog my sorrows.



♥ 说好的幸福呢 ♥