It the worst day of my life

I seriuosly cried so badly just now as i think it is the worst day of my life.
No one understand how i feel and the stress that im taking on.
it is not easy and everyone think its easy as just because i never said it out doesnt means that im strong.
Im overall a woman and i need shoulder and pillar too de.
I cant hold all this by myself.
i wished i could too!!!

I am doing confirnment and then thus i cant go out and when i cant manage things myself i asked for help and in the end the help is not deeply done, infact it is worst then not asking.
I am abviously very angry and mood go down then next came my mum.....

Im pumping milk in the room and when she came back immediately she wants me to open the door obviously i will shout and said wait but she cant!
Im already very pek chey about what happen already earlier trying not to think about it then she wants to start again.
Fine she wants the room i gave her the room, i went to son room, locked myself inside hoping to pump milk in peace.
NONO
I heard her saying scarasticv things again which i seriously cant take it as im already half dead going to explode soon in any min and she started it again.
Why cant she keep her mouth shut?
I know people are going to ask me why i cant take it nothing have happen
I cant!!!!
Because i am very sad and disappointed about something that happen again and again de and i feel lousy!!

I know she is nice to me, but please for the whole month i did my confirnement today is the only day u come up then u cant actually do something nice and please me abit?
I have not blame u for not coming up to cook for me etc as i know that 7th mth is very important to u as got alot of activity, cant u think wise for others?

Im rude in chasing u out of the house aint u doin the same?
I tried not to flare each time u shout or create rubbish but if ur in a bad mood and some other people come and do the same to u how would u react?
I bet u will react the same as me also am i right?

People might think that im RUDE, no RESPECT!!
But if u wan people to respect u dont u respect others too?

Im a human being too i need some airr too.
In the noon i already have no lunch as no one is free to bring my food over then never mind lucky my sister brought food for me then later again something happen.

yes u can bring back all the food that u buy for me i dont mind, aint that call selfish!

I seriously cant think of anything now already,
My heart is dead so is my mind.
Im really tired and i don even want to go visit Kyden earlier as i am reali moodless.

Anyway i text her saying im SORRY already.
ANyway what have happen happen, i dont want to talked about it anymore.

If u insist that Kyden 1 mth u dont wan come or my hse i don mind, anyway son last time 1 mth and 1 yr old the same old thing happen also.
Im not important o u in ur heart only when u r free then maybe u will think of me too.

My sister are more important in ur heart and i know that it will always be de.
No matter what she do or shout/ scream at u, overall u still treat her nicely then me.

Nevermind, it is that we dont have yuan that all.

I wonder am i having posy natal depression now.
I dont have this kind of sour feeling when i gave birth to Isaac.
I keep want to cry very easily recently over the slighest thing that happen and there are a lot of things that i wanted to said but then i cant.
It is bolted insied me so hard that i think im gg to explode.

I seriously hate everyone including myself too!

Kyden updates:
I did not go today is he text me de.
Kyden weight 1.920 kg today and drinking same 40Ml every 3 hours.
that all..

I think maid is so scared of me just now when she reali saw me flar up the 1st time so seriously!
She is so scare to talked to me also.
I am having headache.
going to rest soon after i pump my last pump.

Everyone is not wrong the person who is wrong might be me myself i guess in order to make others happy!

Life is never fair!
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