Stressful again

Today no taking pictures of Kyden as he is having Jaundice thus on the blue light and no pictures lo.

I said im stress why le, because i am wondering what breastpump i should get for myself, after talking to Eling agin i felt relieved, haha, should be buying Medela.
But which model now, shit
I am so confused haha.

i have the determination to breastfeed for at least 6 months and more but then i was thinking that the office got no room how ar if i return work, shit.

brest is not so swollen now as earlier maybe i used real hard force to actually press it all the way near to the aerola.
I hope this can continued.
Pls GOD give me the courage.
i am trying to wake up tonight to pump but sometimes i just fall asleep and wake up at 6am instead haha.

i duno why when i slp my wound feel like stretching and pain but i seat down not pain, why ar?
Suddenly also gt more blood discharge come out then normal is this common?
Im so going to google on this, i wonder if people dont invent internet how ar.
Can people know so much thing?
Hmm i am so thanking Internet

im looking for people to sponsor me a breastpump any kind soul?

I am going to pump milk later at 3 hours later so im not gg to slp now tong till 3 hours later.

Son fell asleep while i was at hospital then wake up say he want bread then KO agian now zzz, good la he sleep so late everyday and wake up so early.
He is not sleeping early because i am awake unlike last time i slp early as i was tired now i never as i wan to delay the time and also i scare i oversleep then nv pump wake up breast like rock again mah, haha.

Being a mother is not easy haha..

We are thinking to arrange Kyden baby 1 mth on 20 Sep but then we need to see if he can be discharge already anot from hospital.
he is so far around 1.55kg again as he lost weight due to crying and shrinking la no more water already mah haha.

he is so cute but i think he look more like him then me now unlike Isaac who look so mucbh like me when he is borned haha.
I think he will still change, hopefully can look more like me la, haha, i carreid him for 8 months de le don look like me i will be sad lo.

Sister is irritaing call me every hour asked about wk esp when im pumping milk LOL.
Good timing she can choose lo haha.

I duno wan to do what now, looking for breastpump and compared.

he worst doing his work but said he want to slp and smoke so much and i curse him got Tb he scold me haha.

i heard from him mum that his brother wife got cancer or duno what lump la.
Scary hor nowadays all this illnes.
I will not smoke back i think im determined this time since i can quit for 8 months why cant i quit forever.

For the sake of myself nad Bbaby iw ill do so in not SMOKING, best is i can stop him form smoking too so can save $$ an more healthy but i know it is hard for him la, maybe 1 day he will stop himself from smoking!
We shall see.
Going to check why i gt bleeding now.
Bye

I miss Kyden and i love Isaac