Tuesday

Last night as i and son fell asleep with the cooling weather and suddenly maybe after 30 minutes of falling asleep.
I heard son cough.
Thought nothing of it.
Suddenly he puke again.
not again right
No choice i got to wake up, clean him, change the bed and etc.
I was shag.
Well wad to do luck his mum help me to wash the bedding etc while i change him & feed him medicine.
Haiss
Think son tummy is really no good lo, need to go easy on soft food & milk till he really recover.
His tummy is really big also, i think it is my fault too.
He do not want to eat last night but i forced him like 4 spoon of rice,
Maybe if i dont force him then he wont puke, so angry with myself for being born with little patience, I should hold my temper well and also not force him to eat if he do not want to lo.
I will have to rack my brain of what to buy for him to eat tonight already.
Poor son, his Concert CD is back, will go back and see tonight,
Actually when i was at his concert, as i saw him dance and play, my tears wanted to flow out, EMO la, suddenly i think back omg my son is already 4 years old, so fast. When 4 years ago he is just a baby who do not know what to do etc. Now he knows almost everythings.
Last night i talk to him, told him that he have to stop cartoon & do homework already as he is going K1 next year and he have to be prepare, else wait he fall back.
He answer me OK, one hour per day, but answer me duno is he too tired wanted to sleep already is it. Hais.

I have to be firm already.

I need a house of myself so that i can do whatever things i wanted to. Now i am restricted and i felt like i am cage,
This few days i kept thinking back why my life is like that etc.
Will my life be betetr if i ahve not made that choice?
I cant blame much except myself not saying that my life now sucks so much or what.
Just that sometimes i am tired that all.
I want to have something of my own and dont need to see people face etc, bear all those stupid comments and biasement!!!
This is number 1 i can not tahan de, i will go crazy and hate the person to the core de, sometimes yes u dont show, but times u show too much till i cant take it and feel liek F****** u upside down yet i cant do that i gt to bear in silence.
Maybe honey can tell but he cant/ do much which upset me more.

Why Why Why
No choice

I am just so tempermental.

There are many thigs he promise me:
Haven seen them come true.
Sad
Sometimes i just want to be S I M P L E
yet the simplest thing i cant get i will keep asking myself why why why my life is like that.
Did i do something wrong?

Now i hope son will be in the best health and nothing else is more important,

His dad pissed me off on Monday night again, shall not talk abt it as wait everybody will think i am a bloody annoying person again.

Shall keep this sealed inside me once again

Hope my house come soon!

I cant wait for the day to happen yes