Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Headach but contented with what i have

She wake up late again today and i just knew it when she asked me what time should i wake my husband up and i say 7am when i know he will wake up on his own at 6.15am.
Indeed she is not awake yet lo, 6.30am then she is awake when she is suppposed to be awake at 6am.

I wonder a person given too much chance then they will take it for granted?

I seriously hate this feeling and actions OK.

Tml i shall see again!

It irritates me so much i tell u, but i don wanna tell her straight at her face as scare no one at home then she will abuse or whatever to son.
Sigh!
Teach me how,
he say nevermind, i was like Deja Vu!!!!!!!!!!

I shall be firece on her already la, she think i am good to bully and she dont know yet who is the worst of all in temper at home i tell u.
=)

I dont care a hood already if she dont like to eat fish or what, i wanted to tell her that her offday actually i will allow her to come back at 8pm instead of 7, now i choise not too already since she is already late for 30 minutes and never even apologise at all.
WTF

Recently i think her attitude is not really good or i got too much to complain.

I hate this la. I hate to see problems!
=(

My sister brought son to watch movie yesterday 3D de, he was happy and enjoyed himself so thanks
Appreciated it =)

I was talking to son last night and i asked him, when i go give birth then can u come home and sleep with Daddy for 2 days while i am at hospital and he say he dont wan haha. Give me a very Ke Lian face and say that he cant leave me alone etc all the rubbish la, wanna stay at the hospital with me etc haha.
I say cant then he say why?
He say dont go give birth liao la, if he cant follow me haha.

He is very attached to me now, but another 5 years down the road when he hit Primary School will he still be so attached to me?
I am so scared that he will not want me when he is older and think that i am not good enough for him or give him too much curfew etc.

Will he ditched me when he got GF? Do not care for me like now?
I enjoyed his pressence alot and i cant leave Isaac off my sights, i guess this is called attachments etc!
I took care of him when he is a baby till he was 3 years old before he was sent to Childcare and i was the one who care for him, i rarely when out after Isaac is born, where i go if he can go i will bring him, else no choice la.

I gave up alot of things for him, i feel its great it not like forcing nor what the feeling, when i see some parents can leave their kids at home and go clubbing or what. Maybe that what they called Social life?

I think i have not stepped into the Disco since like 1 year coming close to 2 years already, dont say bcas im pregnant now la, I just dont want to go out.
At start i will be very entu and wanted to prepared but once i made Issac to bed, i looked at him, i will not want to go out anymore.
The guilt is there like i go enjoyed then he ZZZ at home, so Ke Lian.
=)

So our Par Tok is always 3some de haha, we go celebrate all kinds of anniversary, Valentine Day, Birthday & travel together de.
If i dont bring him along, there will be no one looking after him and if i really needed someone to help, offer & ideas given will be like thrown here and there and i felt that why should my son be treated like a ball, so i choose to bring him along else we dont go at all. All this are before my maid come la, now my maid come already, i will still care and bring Isaac along if i can, but without the maid la. Haha.

I missed Issac when he is young, so chubby and so cute, when he 1st called me Mummy etc, the every 1st things that i share with Isaac is memories and non erasable and no one can replace him in my heart although he is super naughty now till sometimes i cant tahan him at all.
Grrrr.
He is my precious Baobei, always my No 1, even i got BB now, both is my precious but Isaac is NO 1 loved, i will love both precious de la.

If i have a chance to look after my BB myself i will gladly do so haha, as i can expericence their 1st in everything and i sometimes think it is very sian la, as it will be just your kids revovling around you but i love so, i feel that giving up things for your own kids is the best things in the world a Mother can afford and all this cant be purchased by $ and once its over, there will be regrets only.

My mum did not looked after me when i was young and i was sent to other relative place to stay and Grandmother, thus i dont feel the bond with her at all. Thus i will never let this happen to my sons.
The feeling is not nice and i feel that even when im so old now, i dont feel it when she is trying to mend up the hole that she create and left when i was young but i cant accept it and i feel that it is pointless. Haha.

Maybe im too sturborn bah!

I rant too much already till i feel so emo now, haha, going Cold Storage now la, to buy bread for home so i no need to go NTUC later haha.
See got Cod Fish anot.
=)

I going to booked my BBQ tonight too, cant be lazy. Jia You.
It will be just a small gathering and fun play only if not life is so boring.
I chose to bcas there are alot of factors affecting me thus i cant anyhow spend as i need to really save for rainy days as there aint people to help me at all.
All are selfish de.
They dont know what i am going thru and think that i am so rich lo.
Yes i still can survivie but im not rich!
Im seriously so poor now!
But i wont beg!
I cant still afford for my kids the best that i can give, as for myself i can eat poorly or what but not my kids.

My mum sneered at me why i bring food to work for lunch daily, she think i want?
I got no choice lo.
She thinks i m joking or lying.
Well it is up to individual to think and have fantasy about others, im not lying that a fact, as long as i can feed my son, send him to school, give him the best, i fulfil my duties why care when i myself lived in poverty and never really went shopping for like donkeys years, dress up nicely etc. Why should i care?
This is not my priority
Issac is my priority now till BB is born, then the 2 of them will be my priority.
=)

I dont feel sad that my life is like that now, when i can have $$ last time, but at least i got a family that i really called FAMILY, poor la, but i njoyed it.
I did not make a wrong choice in leaving my 1st marriage where i got big house, $, everything no need worry but im not happy, i dont see a complete family.

Now im poorer by half, need to worry about house bill, $, etc, but im contented as i feel that i have a FAMILY that i caleld my own and i know that whatever happen i got someone to lean on and pour out my sorrow and although at times he dont care as he is busy but overall he is still nice to me, although people say he is no good la!
Well in the eye of the beholder, all people opionion is not the same de.

I LOVE MY ANG FAMILY!!
=)

♥ 说好的幸福呢 ♥

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