Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Went for lunch with boss earlier and i told him i am pregnant already as i need to go check up haha.

i still have craving for little smoke per day maybe 1 to 2 puff, i know it is bad but then i will be damn uncomfortable if i don't!

I will try not to!
it is BAD!!

I have the worst nightmare yesterday!
i took a cab home yesterday and the traffic is spoilt and i was jam in the cab like for 30 minutes then i have no choice but to call 999!
God!!!!!

I spend so much on cab yesterday when the fare should be lower.
Damn it!!!!

I asked him to come fetch me tonight la, cant afford to seat the cab all the time then got this type of things happen!
Sigh!!!!

I just found out my fren is also pregnant haha.
One More earlier then me la.

I am feeling sad as i felt that i was treated as dirt!

Since the day i know, there are congrats coming in yet nothing from my mum and she is my REAL MUM!

She is busy with her outing and everything in her life except maybe me and Isaac!
I felt lousy as she have not even call to asked me how i am etc!

It is sometimes that i feel i am been taken for granted.
=(

His mum cared for me la, more then normal or i can said my mum.

I sometimes wonder in this world where got this type of mum DE, my dad i NV told him so he dunno, he is busy so i don't think he got time for me too.

Last time, he is NT like that, but things changed after what my mum did and it happen way too long ago.

I can never forgive my mum for behaving this way as when i was with Isaac she is like that too,

For example,
i remember very clearly that Isaac was down with high fever, i called my mum for help as i was helpless.
Just gave birth knowing nothing and no experience.

I called her at around 12pm to asked her come with me to bring Isaac to the doctor as i cant handle alone.

She said she is outside now and will come later, so i prepared and waited for her.

2pm liao, still never see her so i called her again, she told me soon as she haven settle her things.

4pm, still no sight, at that time all the clinic closed so earliest is 7pm.

7pm, i still don't see her,never called her again as i went to the doctor myself fearing that my son fever is still there.

9pm, she still haven come my place.

Guess what time she came over to my place?
10.30pm!

From 11am plus i called her, till 10 plus then she appear.

I was like don't even want to open the door for her and i cant be bothered to pick up her calls also.

i was like WTF!!!

Never mind, i thought to myself that since people don't care why should i hack care also.
I am seriously sad and disappointed with her as she is my mum and yet this is what i get from her.

There are still lots of issue that i have yet to raise about her if i said so everyone will agree with me on how BAD she is.

I don't really care anymore now although i am sad, i just treat that i do not have a mum, that all, it seems bad but u have to stand in my shoes then u will realised why i react this way!

I am glad that i married him, at least he care for me and never give me the unwanted feeling, thou sometimes lonely la, as he have work to do!

Nevertheless, i am happy with he things i have now, maybe i used to think that i regret to divorced etc, as i grow i realised that money cant buy anything!

I might be poorer then before not that rich want this can have and etc, but i am a happier person with the love and care granted on me and son!

This is my greatest wish that son is been well loved by him and his family as i don want them to be biased.

This is what my greatest wish!

I have the worst backache and leg cramp yesterday and i have to ask him to massage for me for around 30 to 40 minutes before i can fall asleep.

It is so pain that i want to cry!

His mum more funny saw him massage my back and told him cant press too hard or anyhow massage haha, wait the baby there, i was like never mind, continued, because after massage i feel more shiok!

I wanted to have dinner with him tonight but i don't think he can make it as he got new project now, maybe in May then not so busy liao.

Going for my check next month.

Now still early i think haha.

I was thinking how good if my baby is a girl which i always wanted.
But let nature take it course la,
No choice keep thinking and then it's a boy haha.

I just hope that the maid i going to hire will treat my kids good!
Not a bad maid!

Given a choice i also don't want to have a maid but no choice need to else who look after and how to work!

I cant be juggling between work and 2 kids DE!
No one can take that lo.
Especially my kids cant feed for himself, just like a small baby which need my attention the most.

Suddenly i got baby now, i don't regret la, take it as a blessing from GOD!

People might take years to have kids but then still nothing, so i will not abort it

I have to stooped the one to two puff smoke to Mk my baby a healthy one!

I AM DETERMINE TO STOPPED

Even after i gave birth i think i will not smoke bad (TRY VERY HARD)

Since i can quite for 9 months why cant i quit forever!

For my kids i shall do so.
♥ 说好的幸福呢 ♥

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