Friday, December 12, 2008

:(

Suddenly i miss him haha.
When he is around i find him noisy haha.
Son fell asleep while i am watching TV haha, fast, no need me scream at him Auto de
Tml then he will be back wait lo, cant sleep yet.
I am tired yet i cant sleep, i have insomia for like already 2 months, keep thinking but duno thinking what. I should learn to take it easy i guess.
Alot of thing going thru my head and i cant figure why i keep thinking.
Like my sister said, i should learn to relax when i work so hard everyday.
Hais, sometimes i wished i could yet i cant, well, nature take it course ba.

Tml is Saturday, by the time he is back i think it will be evening already. No where to go, too late already. See what time he come back first bah.

I wanted to go to the Korean BBQ so badly that i keep dreaming haha.
Well see Sunday how first as that place only serve lunch. Stupid right

There is no nice show on TV, sian, SCV also.

How i wished May will be next month which means that i can move in to my house already lo.
:)

Moving to new house means more money going to be spend and lesser money ava.
If i am rich that will be wonderful, but i am not!
Well being poor i am still happy just that sometimes money issue are senstive.
No choice. that why i hate people to talk about money all the time.
I always believe no matter how much money u keep, you cant bring it to grave when you die. So why bothered to be so calculative?

My sister always said i am stingy.
Well i am not, i have to be stingy in certain way if i cant afford it.
If i can afford it, i am not stingy OK.
They dont have a family yet so they cant understand how much money it is needed to upbring a kid.
They spend so much more then adults. Hais theywill come to understand it one day de la when they started their family!
I dont blame her also, she is still young.

I dont like people to asked why he cant why he dont.
All this is other people pride too!
I cant comment much that why my mum think that i side him too much.
Its not about siding at the end of the day.
Must leave a nice place for others that i always know,
What if someone who dont stand in ur shoe and spare a thought for u how would u feel?
I always dont like to expose people even i know that they do something wrong or even said rubbish. I believe in sparing a thought for others, next time when ur in the same situtaion then others will always think for u. Even if that person dont think fr u then nevermind maybe it is their character, No choice.
So i always said i like to talk i will if i dont want to talk dont force me to because i will said nasty thing which u might not want to hear.

I am a person when i am sad or angry i dont like to talk, i prefer to be silence! Keep to myself. I rarely cry unless i really cant take it, but i will cry silently to myself, as i know that i dont like others to ask me why i cry! So i dont like people to see also. i am a very talktive and loud spoken person, when i keep quiet, it means i dont want noise or even talk.

My office people know my pattern de, every morning i wont talk to others or even laugh or said hi, i will only start talking liek after 11am or so. haha, so they will steer far away from me until i approach them. :)

I love u peers who support me when i am down or low in spirit,
I am afraid of being alone. I need someone to be with me daily, no need much talk just stay beside me i am contented.

I am very used to son being my side, one day not around i will feel so pek chey cant foccus well. Same goes to him also, son & him plus my family members are my best treasued person in this world, they are my everything!
My sister said i dont treasure!
NO NO.
deeply inside my heart i treasure alot about kinship.
I dont express well, that why always mistaken by other, i am heartless.
i am Not.
That is the reason why i am always so angry when my mum dont love me, or forgo kinship for other things. I know hse love me, I love her too!

I cant tell her in face de!
This is one thing that i can never do, because i cant EXPRESS!!!!!!
I can only write here and said how i feel!

I love u mummy.

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