30.10.2008

One more day to the end of October 2008.
how time flies.

This whole week no matter how early i sleep i will still feel sleepy at work. I dont know why. I feel restless. Aunty coming?

This week son is going over to his place, i feel sad & moodless, thinking he is not around my side.

Last night before i sleep, i asked son

Me: Will you dont want mummy when i grow old?
Son: NO, i only want mummy.
Me: Really?
Son: Yes la
Me: Will you dont want me when you are old & i am a girl cant share things with you?
Son: NO
Son: Aiyo, i go Daddy (ex) house, i will tell him i only want mummy lar
=_='

He said so because i tell him must tell his daddy that he wants mummy so he will come back home early.

I read an article today, about a guy who is in his 40+ but is blind. He is still taking care of his mum who is 90 years old. The worst part is that they have in total 10 siblings including himself. The other 9 siblings only contributed $230 per month for him & mum.
They asked: Why did you want to take care of your mum when you cant even see properly?
He: I will love my mother as long as she is alive and treat her the way like how she treat us with love & attention when we are young.

After i read this i felt like crying.

I love my mum & family too yet they cant feel it and we dont do it and act like as before.

I am sad of this but no one can understand unless they are the one who felt it before.

I emphasis alot on family love because i dont want son to have the same feeling as i am even when i m this old.

My mum is getting better now but there is still some BASTARD who is making her to change and i ahte that fella. I will curse & swear if needed but at the end of the day i cant say much. =[

I went to the temple already during lunch today and i felt better as i agree on something i must return. =]

Brought my new skincare too. Tried the BB cream, nice thou can cover but i felt oily. Maybe i apply too much? Will try to apply lesser tml and see how.

I passed some mask to my mum as she say she wanted and since i ordered alot and i'm so lazy to apply when i reached home. Dont waste. If it's good for her then i will order more for her in future since it is so cheap.

I wanted to have steamboat on Saturday but i cant. I cant even make it to Maggie gal's birthday (maybe) =[
All because he wants to fetch Isaac zzz. I know i cant be selfish and have all but he is my everything.

I feel EMO now as i think of Isaac and when he is not around me.

I wanted to go out meet my friends & have free time so i wont have to nag at him, but once he is not around me. I felt lost.

I think i need to have my son with me 24 hours, 365 days per year.
=]

I cant imagine a day without him la.

I am my son mummy boy. haha

Still thinking what to get for Maggie Gal, she say no clothes lei.

Cracking my brains.........

BTW i lost 5kg while on the pills for 3 weeks and i felt like OMG.... # more weeks means another 5 kg?

Dream more i think
=]