Tired

Kyden is admitted to Kkh again yesterday...

Flu thn followed by the cough then breathless..

Hmm doctor say it's too early to dignosed if it's asthma or etc.. Well just hope it's not else it's bad for kids la..

Spend 3/4 hours there.. MIL was there with me as husband went site visit and off he went china last night at 1am..back only this sat..

Well a gd whole week alone with kids.

We got some new toys at home.. A wii.. Haha.. All of us are glue to it esp Isaac.. It's very nice.. But tiring man..

Kyden birthday is this sun at Aloha Loyang Pool Terrance No 5.. Start from 3pm onwards...

So fast Kyden already one yr old .. Still rem 22 Aug..

11plus after I bid husband goodbye and he went jb.. I tried to slp but toss n turn as I feel lol wanna go toilet so did not think much as it was raining so cooling to sleep.. 2plus am I feel cramp and was sweating lik mad though it's raining.. Then I went toilet see if it's tummy ach..

No hell, it's not I went almost 4 times till last I ring for the nurse.. She pushes me down to the ward with wheelchair haha.. Then afterwhich I was been checked if it's labour contractions yes it is.. Started, but not opened yet.. I looked at the clock it's 230am on 23 Aug Liao..

I stayed in that room and obly called hubby..when it's almost dawn as I was really pain Liao thn let him slp more first then he came and went back then close to noon then came bk again..

The whole duration was not nice at all

Afternoon was still bearable with pain but suddenly fever kicks in..
On panadol.. No epdurial no nothing as they don't want baby sleepy as he was still not supposed to be born.. Too early premature 2 months earlier..

Till 4 hubby offered to buy me porridge from canteen.. I say yes.. HELL!!! never eat from there anymore since I give birth..
Because of this.. I wasn't allowed to be C-SECT as they say I ate thing so cannot... Can u imagine how I felt.. I can only drag till 1030 to the delivery ward..

Yes 1030 to be C-Sect, never forget that night...
Was not able to wakeup after operation and was sent to some funny room with a morphine drip..YES... morphine.. Haha!!
Blur me dint know wad was that am happily clicking on it once I feel pain.. In the end?? Slept till the next day.. And the following day

I wasn't the first one to see Kyden since birth, unlike Isaac.. Husband was the one who seen him first as I was drowsy..sleepy..weak and of cas in pain..

Went to see previous Kyden, 3rd day... Poor baby.. He was so small like nearly my palm size lo.. Wasn't able to self feed on drip, heater and tonnes of needle around his tiny lill body.

It sadden me to see him like this since he's so small.. I don't dare to carry him too lo.

He needs to be fed by tube insert into his mouth and into the tummy.. Omg!!!

He needs to be on heater because his body temperature cannot be regulate..

Gosh.. I can be discharge after 5 days but baby Kyden cannot.. He still can't self feed, regulate his body temperature..

Well I'm home without baby...

He stay at the hospital for one month just nice back few days before baby shower..

We visit him everyday aft daddy off work at 7 and back at around 8-9 because that the end of visiting hours.. Each day he grow a tiny lill bt I dunno y I can't load picture here!!
ZZZ..

That whole 30 days was a torture imagine you give birth yet your baby is not with you by your side haha!! When u miss him, all you can see is his pictures inside my Hp and worst my Hp give way during that time so most pictures is with daddy Hp!!

Thinking back.. Times flies.. As I'm writting this .. both kids are beside me slping.. I feel my heart is so heavy ;)) haha!!

I never regret in life that I give up alot for my both kids ESP Issac.. When I was still young and should be enjoying life lik normal 19 yr old gals..

My kids bring me happiness.. Slthought they nearly killed me sometimes haha.. Without them
I guess I won't be any happier then now.. Giving up my things, pubbing, clubbing and tonnes more is worth while for me..

Some say I'm stupid, rem mum keep telling me I'm stupid to give birth to Isaac where I can enjoy my youth..
I got one sentence for her..

"I SERIOUSLY FEEL HAPPY NOW, BECAUSE I CAN FEEL E WARMTH MY KIDS BRING ME RATHER THEN IN THE PAST I DONT GET IT FROM YOU. I NEVER REGRET AT ALL AND IM GOING TO CARE FOR THEM FOR AS LONG AS IM ALIVE"

I love my family..

Previously I posted that I feel sian right.. My inlaws are with me now.. Somehow I feel blessed, humans are funny I dunno how to explainy feelings now but I'm not pissed anymore.

Maybe 50% of me still prefer my maid and a home of my own..

50% I love my life now with them around me..

Haha!! It's hard to explain nor justify how I feel now..

This blog is getting rusty and my this post is uber long..

Wait till daddy back from
China will ask him load my pic to lappy..

Ps: he's nt v rich nor handsome but he bring a smile on my face 90%, only 10% I'm sad, angry, etc

Pss: I love u zen ang thanks for bringing me joy for this 6 yrs and on going.. Till I die?? Haha!!

Psss: Isaac n Kyden, mummy will love you both as much as there might be difference in certain area. I will not be biased and I will make sure no one does that in our lill family

Pssss: healthy life??

Okok I'm
Gg stop here it's getting too long!!

"life is short, wad happen next you might not know. If you can treasure what is right infront of u rather then regreting later"

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